With an engaging novel like My Friends, get ready to delve deep into the heartwarming, character driven narrative which focuses on secondary families, profound friendships, and emotional journeys. These book club questions for My Friends will help your group explore the book’s themes of art and human connection, the value of friendship, and the relationship between grief and healing.
This My Friends discussion guide will help your group’s conversation make headway with the 11 book club questions, synopsis, and some reviews selected from previous readers. Also, if you enjoyed this book, we’ve also got some helpful suggestions of a few related reads with similar themes.
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Synopsis for My Friends
(We always chose to provide the publisher synopsis because we feel that it’s worthwhile to discuss whether the official book description actually squared with your experience of the book.)
My Friends, Fredrik Backman
Most people don’t even notice them—three tiny figures sitting at the end of a long pier in the corner of one of the most famous paintings in the world. Most people think it’s just a depiction of the sea. But Louisa, an aspiring artist herself, knows otherwise, and she is determined to find out the story of these three enigmatic figures.
Twenty-five years earlier, in a distant seaside town, a group of teenagers find refuge from their bruising home lives by spending long summer days on an abandoned pier, telling silly jokes, sharing secrets, and committing small acts of rebellion. These lost souls find in each other a reason to get up each morning, a reason to dream, a reason to love.
Out of that summer emerges a transcendent work of art, a painting that will unexpectedly be placed into eighteen-year-old Louisa’s care. She embarks on a surprise-filled cross-country journey to learn how the painting came to be and to decide what to do with it. The closer she gets to the painting’s birthplace, the more nervous she becomes about what she’ll find. Louisa is proof that happy endings don’t always take the form we expect in this stunning testament to the transformative, timeless power of friendship and art.
My Friends Book Club Questions
These questions have been tailored to this book’s specific reading experience, but if you want more ideas, we also have an article with 101 generic book club questions.
- What did you think of the dual timeline structure of the book? Which timeline did you prefer, and why? Also, how do the dual timelines support the themes of the novel?
- “That’s all of life. All we can hope for. You mustn’t think about the fact that it might end, because then you live like a coward, you never love too much or sing too loudly. You have to take it for granted, the artist thinks, the whole thing: sunrises and slow Sunday mornings and water balloons and another person’s breath against your neck. That’s the only courageous thing a person can do.”
What do you think the message is behind this quote from the book?
- The book says that “healing isn’t about fixing what’s broken, but about learning to create beauty and meaning within the reality of brokenness.”
Do you agree, or do you think true healing should try to erase past hurt as much as possible?
- What parts of the story emotionally resonated with you the most? And, what parts resonated the least?
- My Friends is a homage to the power of friendship. How did the book’s portrayal of friendship align with or challenge your understanding of what it means to be a friend?
- What is the book’s overall message regarding the value of art and artists and their place in society?
- The role of family dynamics is a constant theme in the story. How does generational trauma affect each character’s present and future?
- “Our teenage years have to simultaneously be the brightest light and the darkest depths, because that’s how we learn to figure out our horizons.”
Backman illustrates how the teenage years aren’t just a phase in life but the crucible that defines the direction in life. Which of the characters’ direction in life shocked you the most? Whose were you not surprised by the outcome?
- The concept of time in the book feels like both comfort and a curse, sometimes it brings healing, other times it just makes wounds deeper. Do you think the characters should let the past go, or is it important to hold onto what was lost?
- At the end of the story, not everyone got a happy ending, and some wounds are left unresolved. Did you like how the novel ended for the characters? Why or why not?
- Kimkim uses art to survive in a harsh world, making beauty as a kind of rebellion. Is turning his pain into art the best way to fight back, or is it just another way to hide?
Selected Reviews of My Friends
“This was AMAZING. Fredrik Backman has such a way with words: description, storytelling, his ability to perfectly examine, pick apart and display characters… that makes me so thankful to be a reader. My Friends is a story of loss, infatuation, friendship, childhood and on moving on. It carries flaws (characters, never in writing), that make you feel as if the characters are standing right in front of you, and my gosh are they real in my brain. The plot, as heartbreaking as it was heartwarming, examines what it means to live on the fringes of society and find the joy in what is left. This book is human at its core.”
“1.5 Stars- I really wanted to love My Friends like so many others, but unfortunately, I just couldn’t finish it. The story felt overly silly, the characters grated on my nerves, and the writing style didn’t work for me at all. I typically enjoy Fredrik Backman’s emotional depth and humor, but here, it felt more forced than heartfelt.”
“this is super weird and sad because i adore frederik backman but i just did not like this book. it felt like it was trying so hard to be this profound thing and like sure some of it was but a lot of it just had me extremely cringed out. i will not be letting this change my opinion of his other books especially beartown but unfortunately this book was kind of worse than socks in a toaster.”
“3.5 ⭐️ Intriguing, heartfelt, and reflective!-FREDRIK BACKMAN once again delivers a deeply moving tale with his latest novel. The themes of friendship, loss, and the lasting impact of art are beautifully woven together, and I appreciated how the story explored the enduring echoes of relationships over time. The emotional weight of the characters’ experiences was evident, and the writing had those signature Backman moments that are so often heartfelt and profound.”
What to Read Next
Here’s are a few of my discussion guides that touch upon My Friends’ themes of art, friendship, and coming of age. Each guide has a non-spoiler synopsis toward the top of the page and a link to Amazon reviews and pricing.
- Theo of Golden: The alchemy of art, kindness and friendship.
- How to Read a Book: The power of forgiveness and friendship.
- The Reading List: How a crumpled up book list creates hope and connection.
If you want more Backman, I’ve also got a guide for Anxious People.
And here are a few more ideas for you:
The Authenticity Project, Clare Pooley
The Authenticity Project is a story of a simple green notebook that brings together six strangers and leads to unexpected friendship, and even love. It is an enriching and charming read with a powerful message about unity, honesty, and relationships. It touches on a myriad of themes including drug addiction, grief, and loneliness.
Now is Not the Time to Panic, Kevin Wilson
Like My Friends, Now is Not the Time to Panic follows the story of ramifications decades later of the art that emerged from a friendship formed during one adolescent summer. The main themes found throughout this story include creativity, family dysfunction, adolescence, and mental illness.
If you’ve already read this one, I’ve also got a discussion guide for his book Nothing to See Here.
This Adventure Ends, Emma Mills
Like My Friends, This Adventure Ends follows a tight-knit group of friends who are on a journey to solve a mystery centered around a very personal painting. With similar themes focusing on intense friendships, finding belonging, and the transition to adulthood.
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